Saturday, May 05, 2007

Life is just a story, with beautiful parts and not so beautiful parts .... some reaaly you know what parts -- ven if you don't know it doesn't matter coz you know why :)
and it doen'st matter how many lives one has (or many have) coz in teh end we are machines (or something very similar -- basically we are predictable - even if .... ) we will just live lives accoring to our "programs" and do something or the other --
this makes no life look better than another
so why not do the things that you (or your program) wants to do -- maybe the algorithm will decide how strong the rebellion against not doing it is going to be , given the circumstances ofcouse -- which are the inputs -- but may there not exist a mathematical model satisfying this input and processing thing and representing a human (or somehint like that -- i wnat to say something -- and incomplete knowledge is disastrous or something like that ... but anyway mathematics is beautiful -- maybe -- or if not i will just call the beautiful as mathmatics -:) maybe :) as ... ) and hence life is something more beautiful -- maybe it's mathematics or something that transcends it ( i know this is just using words to get that paart of your brain -- u know which -- satisfied .... a clear analysis doesn';t require words to explain to yourself what some statematn or something means -- maybe ofcourse -- if you NEED words then maybe you are just joking around with yourself playing with superficial words (here i don't know what superficial actually means but it doens't matter as i am just explaining to myself ... and i only the (current) meaning of it and not a generally accepted version of my perceptions -- and if some one is reading this -- am sorry for being so unclear maybe u should directly talk to me to know what my mind thinks without even telling me (leave alone asking) as i don't think (obviously i pre-assume) that you or anyone (or maybe even me after an year) is oging to understand what i have written here -- and why is all this writing not improving my writing skills -- ma noticing that what commands i give my right and left hands aren't synchronised and that's why i have to use the backspace button -- and i also have to eliminate giving commands that aren't required --- maybe a feedback kinda thing should be used -- not a fuzzy or vague memory or something like that -- now my system files have all gone down -- deeath is just formatting of the hard drive ..... mayvbe .. go to hell how the hell did this v come in between
ok forom now on tyoping practice -- naaaaaaaaaaaa
not going to happen -- maybe i just like the way i type -- resembels my khichdi thinking .. :)
by guys (and gals and ..) c u 2moro -- ofcourse not
bye
neend aa rahai hai
chain se sone wale
Life is just a story, with beautiful parts and not so beautiful parts .... some reaaly you know what parts -- ven if you don't know it doesn't matter coz you know why :)
and it doen'st matter how many lives one has (or many have) coz in teh end we are machines (or something very similar -- basically we are predictable - even if .... ) we will just live lives accoring to our "programs" and do something or the other --
this makes no life look better than another
so why not do the things that you (or your program) wants to do -- maybe the algorithm will decide how strong the rebellion against not doing it is going to be , given the circumstances ofcouse -- which are the inputs -- but may there not exist a mathematical model satisfying this input and processing thing and representing a human (or somehint like that -- i wnat to say something -- and incomplete knowledge is disastrous or something like that ... but anyway mathematics is beautiful -- maybe -- or if not i will just call the beautiful as mathmatics -:) maybe :) as ... ) and hence life is something more beautiful -- maybe it's mathematics or something that transcends it ( i know this is just using words to get that paart of your brain -- u know which -- satisfied .... a clear analysis doesn';t require words to explain to yourself what some statematn or something means -- maybe ofcourse -- if you NEED words then maybe you are just joking around with yourself playing with superficial words (here i don't know what superficial actually means but it doens't matter as i am just explaining to myself ... and i only the (current) meaning of it and not a generally accepted version of my perceptions -- and if some one is reading this -- am sorry for being so unclear maybe u should directly talk to me to know what my mind thinks without even telling me (leave alone asking) as i don't think (obviously i pre-assume) that you or anyone (or maybe even me after an year) is oging to understand what i have written here -- and why is all this writing not improving my writing skills -- ma noticing that what commands i give my right and left hands aren't synchronised and that's why i have to use the backspace button -- and i also have to eliminate giving commands that aren't required --- maybe a feedback kinda thing should be used -- not a fuzzy or vague memory or something like that -- now my system files have all gone down -- deeath is just formatting of the hard drive ..... mayvbe .. go to hell how the hell did this v come in between
ok forom now on tyoping practice -- naaaaaaaaaaaa
not going to happen -- maybe i just like the way i type -- resembels my khichdi thinking .. :)
by guys (and gals and ..) c u 2moro -- ofcourse not
bye
neend aa rahai hai
chain se sone wale
currently opened notepad2 and supposed to write something what i was thinking but in a rather productive manner ... but i don't whay my that mood has change d and am thinking thta i will wirite something else may be a story or something ... let's do that after seeing rishi's blog ....

o shit be use comment nahi kiya ... chalo shayad ye likhne k baad karenge ya shayad nahi karegne
abhi phir gaane likhne shuru karein kya

chalo ek question dimaag mein aaya -- to take the laptop with me in the ps or not .. ?? good question ... kyonki sab keh rahe hain k mein bahut hi zyada bore ho jaunga -- par this is the only time .. maybe .. that i think i will be without a comp and should i miss this time -- will i really get too bored -- maybe yes , and very unlikely not ... :)

ok lets see what do i wnat to do in ma life ?? i have a ps to go and then one more year in bits (which will be 1.5 years if luck doens;t favour me or something like that .. ) and after that what -- no idea -- will i get bored -- too bored in ma life ... man is a social animal - you can live with people you can talk with doing things that you don't like or wanna do -- ok a break

really good song

na tu zmein k liye hain a aasmaa n k liye
tera wajood ahi ab sirl f daastaan k lie
na tu zamein k liye hai na aasmaan k liye

ye song pura karke likhna challo karte hai n...

wiating for the antra

palat k su-e chaman dekhne se kya hoga
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
palat k su-e chaman dekhne se kya hoga
wo shaak hina rahi jo thi aashiaan k liye
na tu zameen k liye hai na aaasamman k liye
second antra follows ;;

garaz parast jahan mein wafa talash na kar
ooooooo
garaz parast jahan mein wafa talash na kar
ye sahi bani thi kisi doosre jahan k liye
tera wajood hai tera wajood hai ab sirdf daastaan k lye
na tu zammen k lye hai na assmaan k liye

na tu zameen k lyiye hai na assmaan k liye na tu zameen k liye hai na aasmaan k kliye tera wajood hai terea wajood hai ab sirf daastaan k liye na tu zameend k liye hai na aasmaan k liye

phirse sun raha hoon gana :0
palat k su-e chaman dekhne se kya hoga oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
palat k su-e chaman dekhne se kya hoga
wo shaakh hi na rahi jo thi aashiyaan k liya
na tu zameen k liye hai na aasmaan k lye

garaz parast jahan mein wafa talaash na kar
poooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
garaz parast jahan mein wafa talaash na kar
ye shai bani thi kisi doosre jahan k liye
tera wajjod hai tera wajood ahi a b sirf saataan k lye
na tu zammen k lye hai na aasmaan k lye


ye naya gana kaunsa hai ... likhna hai kya lag to nahi raha

chalo let's continue whre wer we ??
yup upar dekhke yaad aaya
pani re pani tera rang kaisa .. sorry gana to likhna nahi hai
lage us jaise pani re pani ....
sorry again

yup man is a social animal and soem thig some thign ....

no i think that i like listing ot this soing and i will ..
is duniya mein jine wale aise bhi n\hain jite rukhi sukhi khaate hain aur dhanda pani pete tere ek hi
pani re pani bhooke ki bhookh aur pyaas jaisa ....

kya *****iya gana hai ye ... par mast bhi hai saath hai :)

ganga se jab mile to banyta g

badal se mile to sawan
sawan aaya sawan aaya rimjhim barse pani
aag pehenkar aag arudgkar pehehk phigli jai chat tapakti
pani re pani tera rang kaise
duniya bananrewale rab jaisa

waise to rang to mein terra jalw a rang jamai
jab t u gire ummed jlf
pathachge ja paigaam...

abe yaar gana change kiya to sur ka aa bhi ja lag gaya

kya buri kismat hai
aaj to blog hi nahi lihg paaonga

aa bhi ja aa bhi ja ai subah aa bhi ja
raat ko kar vida dilruba aa bhi ja
aa bhi ja aa bhi ja ai subah aa bhi ja
aa bhi ja aa bhi ja ai subah a abhi ja
raat ko kar vida dilruba aa bhi ja
aa bhi ja aa bhi ja ai subha haa bhi ja
...............
nice music ...
...............
mere dil pagalpan ki aur sima kya hai
yun to tu hai meri chaya tujhme ho ter a kya hai
main hoon ganag tu hai zamemen a
ratt k okar vida
aa bhi ja aa bhi ja ai subah aa bhi ja
aa bhi ja aa bhi ja ai subha aa bhi aj
raa kk o (shit ye line nah i boli be usne .... )

mas t guitar / violin music -- haan shayd violin hi hai ...

dekh o chahe jisko kutch kutch dkikhat hkyon hai
jaaoon na mein tera mera rishta kyon kaise kahoon kitan baichain hai ter e bina
raat ko kar vida dilruba aa bhi jaaaaaaaa
aabh i ja aa bhi ja (thisi s the feamle voice running o k ... )

gana chamgae kar raha hoon ....

listenig to na tu zameen k liuye again but not writng this tiem ... bye ....
nest song plyaing is -- chura liya hai tume jo dil ko -- chlao ye bhi sutne hai ....
an d the female voice is singing first ....

oka b bhaurt hua gane sun liye , galat spelings type liye and bahanr time pass kar liya
a b kaam ki baat karte hain and ye gaaane band karta hain -- waise bhi sadiya l gana baj raha hai -- boomboomboombenga boyes -- paused -- par blog ka end ek gana likh k hi karoonga ....

yes kahan the -- mein bolre ho jaoonga - man is a social animal -- you can do things you don't wanat to do as long as ou are with those that you can speak with -- but what about the things that you wanna do -- will you get company -- will you be no lazzy enough to try try to do those things -- be able to do the mehnat to try to acheive those things ??
laziness -- the virtue by which a person doens't evn do the things he/she really wants to do
shynesss - the felling of embarrassment when diong something - thinking what will otheres think of it
laziness + shyness -- proper conditions -- dealy combo -- waste all the time in bits ...

ek one liner yaad aay -- pata nahi one liner sahi naam hai k nahin par ye tha -- kutch aisa :
the nam who spends half of this life telling people what he will do probably spends the rest half of his life telling why he couln't do those things ....

it's beutiful when u thing of it that my life is all meaning less and all (evnascence ka gana sunna padega ab to bring me to life ... )

how can u seee into my eeys leadein down into m ycore where i become so numb without a soul my spirit sleeing soemwhre col until fin ....


yup whre was i -- it's so beutiful that my life is so meaningless -- means it's may be the ony beauty my life has (contraadictory meaningful pun sentence isn't it )
why is ti beautiful ... well why am i not wanting to do anything -- why am i different -- why am igiving up onto the flow of life and not making my life inot a forece that will make my feelings flow -- why am is tuck with anazlysing things like thihs -- thinking doesn't cook rice -- but maybe am liucky that i think thses things becoz this is practivcal -- maybe my luck is heling me hre- -- but my luck -- if it's taking me to change the face of my llife so that it can end with a shot -- the nveven am going under the flow of life -- under the flow of circumstances -- can i be something else -- can i be over these ?? what is the feeling that is making me waqnna do that -- that is the feeling of aggressivenses combined with the feeling of freedom -- maybe -- just my hypothesis -- but whatever -- abhi rathi ne awwaz mar iand mein bhoool gaya ki main kya shoch araha that -- shayad mera dimmag sochne men hai hi nahin and ye speeliing mistakes muhe pura yakkeen hai k iye itni ho gain hongi ki ek tub to bhar hi jayega ....

ok i don't hink i ma wiring this bog anymoer but ending it wiht that ... --



i want to do what i want to do and i can't do anything about it if luck is not with me (but what if luck is only adverse) -- it's so beautiful of luck to make a person helless -- helplessness can be wonderful (ofcourse noty always) -- and even if i want ot do what i want to do -- thinking doesn't cook reice --
who wants rice anyway (ya am not inot thinking what i ma writing here .. am just flowin flwoin and flwoing -- abe ye to do g's miss ho gaye re ... )

it's easy to see cartoons and tv stuff of people doing things and getting aggressive -- but it's not the same doing these in real life -- infact you give up even before starting to clear your life to welcome or accomodate those things that possibly pave the way for the things that you like to do -- be alive -- before being dead -- death is beautiful but you will have to live to experience that fact -- <> -- boredom getting too much is good -- giving you energy to jump over to another more adventous path -- it is when it's gets too much that it starts getting better ..... yu have to have a rebellion inside you -- so betyter have a verty bad government thatn a bad one -- yup -- explode man explode --

Thanx a lot God , thank yio very mcch (sorry for the spelling mistakes -- yo know what i mean :) )

Love you god and ..... ( i don't want to make a wish so am discontinuing writng )
maut hi aakhri maut hi aakhri bas dava hai meri
maut hi aakhri bas dava hai meri
khush rahe tu sada ye dua hai meri

ek aur gana
mast mood ho raha hai

aane se uske aaye bahar
jane se uske jaye bahar
badi mastaani hai meri mehbbooba
meri zindgani hai meri mehbooba
( this para again )
soryr gtalk pe tha isliey likh nahi pyaa

rishi ne kaha ki gane likhta rehta hai tu to blog
pe
par maza aata hai re ......

ban sawar k nikle aaya
har koi ye samjhe hogi wo koi
poocho to kaun hai wo
rut ye
meri mehbooba
meri zindgani hai meri mehbooba
badi mastani hai meri mehbooba
um m hmm m. . . . . . . .
um m hmm m .......

second after i cant' pretend trying ot bend the who you my way from you iw ant to be so let me go let me take m i rather beg all alonge anywhere on muy on so thvery firsr t par i remevber listengin to all person really is me tring to bend the ther more i opus lying my way from ou i wnat to be so let me go let me take begt all alone anywhrer on my won i can sya ther very firrst party of you is me thsi sint' waht i wante to be i nefer thousghit ......
i wnat to be so let me go let me take back my begt all alone anywehre on my own i can say so wver y wosr t par t of you si mwe

mere naina sawan bhaado phir bhi mera man pyaasa phir bhi mera man pyaasa
mere naina sawan bhaado phir bhi mera man pyaasa phir bhi mera man pyaasa
ai dil deewane
khel hai kya jaane
dard bhara ye geet kahan se in honthon pe aaya
door kahin le jai
bhool gaya kya bhool k bhi hai
mujhko py.. zara sa
phir bhi mera man pyaasa

baat poorani hai
ek kahani hai
ab sochon tumhe yaad nahi hai
ab anih bhoole
wo sawan k jhoole
rut aaye rut jaaye dekar jhootha ek dilaasa
phir bhi mera man pyaasa

barson beet gaye
humko mile bichde
bijli bankar gagan pe chamki beti samay ki rekha
maine tumko dekha
man sang aankh micholi khele aasha aur nirasha
phir bhi mera man pyaasa
mere naina sawan bhaado phir bhi mrea man pyaasa
phir bhi mera man pyaasa
ph///....

hello my frined we meet again feels like forever
within my heart of memories
a p ere fect lfove
o i eremmer
when u are with me
i m fere i m careless i believe
o ..... we'ss vbflfy
this bring s rtears to my eys
my sacrifice

withing our share of ups how quickly life turn aroung in a n instant
it feels good to witni your mind let's find peace when u rare tih me i m free i m careles i belive
o ... others wel'' fly this brings tears t o my eyes my sacrifice
i just want to say hello again
i just want ot say helllo agian
when u are with me i m fee an careles i belive
baboe alla the otheres wel'' vbly wthis brfings tgears to my eeys
when u rare tiwth me i m free i m carelss i vbelibe
avble all the others we'ell fly this brings tears to my esys
my sacrifice ....
m y sacx
i jsut wnat to say hello again
ai jsut wnat to say hello again
tu ru utu ru .... rurut t ut .. . .
m y sacrifice ...

chalo bhai about 15-20 room se bhar hoke aaya ....
ab ek do gaane aur likhke mess jaate hain

ye reshmi zulfein
ye sharbati aankhein
inhe dekhkar ji rahe hain sabhi
inhe dekhkar ji rahe hain sabhi
ye reshmi zulfein
inhe dekhkar ji rahe hain sabhi
ihe ddkehkar
ji rahe hai n sabhi

jo ye aankhein sharam se jhuk jainge
saari baatein yahin bas ruk jainge
chup rehna ye afsana
koi kin
ka inhe dekhra pe rahe hain sabhi
ye reshimi zulfein ye sharbat i inhe dekhark
ji rahe hai nasabhi

zulfeing magroor itni h o jainge
dil ko tadpainge ji ok tarsainge
yue kar dengi koi ninko na batlna
k inehe dkehkar ji rahe hain asbi
inghe dkeh kji rahe hai n sabhi
saare inki shikayat karte hain
saare inki shikyat karte hain
phir bhi inse mhobaat karte hian
ye kya jaado jhai jaane phir chak ... deewnae
inhie dekhkar si rahe hain sabhi
ihne dekhar si reha
ye reshmi zulfein ye shartvbat a inhe dekhar ji rahe hai n sabhi
inhe dekhar ji rahe ahi n sabhi

abhi ek chini gana baj raha hai -- to likhe t o nahi sakta
and uske baad mess jana hai :)

ok now let's write somethign into this blog that's not a song or something but .... uh whatever ...

Sunday, April 08, 2007

ya was doing mt and now am listening to songs and a mwriting a blog entry with my monitor closed.

Ok so let's start with the good (whatever) news) -- i have got ps in bangalore -- a little worse (or who knows what) part -- in whitefiled bangalore which is in the outskirts of bangalore and most probably about (or approximately) 1.5 hours from the place i will get a decently cheap accommodation (google se pata chala ki accommodation mein do m aate hain :) ) - ok so kaise karna hai ye sab kutch patanahi and jitne paise lagne wale hain patanahi kahin ghoomne ka bhi man kare na kare -- and most important for the places that are good but far and costly -- let's see -- kitne naye dost bante ahin -- kis kis k saath room share karna ahi and all that stuff -- anyway i hope that that place in whitefiled (yuken india) is a nice place and has good (natural) surroundings

ok now over with the ps stuff let's talk about exams -- es ka exam hai par kutch padne ka man nahi kar raha -- lagata hai pehli baar ek zero launga test mein (tut mein to aate hi rehe hain) -- um.. hmm... -- chalo bhai test ki bhi aisi ki taisi

abhi death note ka music baj raha hai -- sahi lag raha hai -- ok so abhi kya kar raha hoon -- kutch nahi -- par kutch to kar hi raha hoon - and soch raha hoon ki baad mein mere paad kutchi bhi karne ko hoga kya -- meinaning kya mujhe aisa to nahi lagega ki koi saat hnahi hai to shaadi kar leni chahiye thi coz us time agar jo karna chahunga usmein koi saath nahihoga to shayad ore ho jaunga -- humm... kabhi zinagi k baare mein aise nahi socha and abhi soch raha hoon let's ee if this thinking goes far enough -hmm... ye topic bhi khtaam

and now mein kutch bhi nahikar raha hoon par ye likhna chod k to kutch karne ko hi dhondoonga -- kabhi nahi socha tha ki jeen k liye kutch kaam dhoondna padega -- not work for money -- but for living -- living -- just going by --
death note ka music is maamle mine inspiring ya kutch type hai -ab aap sochenge ki ... patanahi ye kya kar raha hai and all that par...

ok abhi tak to bahut spelliing mistake kar hi di hogi chalo abhi kutch dhang se bhi likh hi lete hain - hm.. jo gana aa raha hai wo likhte hain --
awaara hoon tu ru rur ru
ya gardish mein hoon aasmaan ka tara hoon
ya repeated stuff i am not writing
ghar baar nahi sansaar nahi mujhse kisi ko pyar nahi
us paar kisi se milne ka .../
awaara hoon
awaara hoon
ya gardishm ein hoon aasmaan ka tara hoon

chodo chodo (it was chalo chodo -- spelling mistake :) now maybe u get a bit how my mind works (or doesn't) ) -- kutch aur karte hain par pehle gana badalte hian


i am not doing what i wanna do and i am not what i wanna be -- ho le liya dil ho hayerea dil -- chura liya hia tumen jo dil ko nazar nahi churana sanam badal k meri tum zindgani ...

bahar banka aaon kabhitumhari duniya mein guzar na jayein ye din kabhi isi tamanna mein tum mere ho aaj tum itna vada karte jana jo dil ko nazar nahi churana sanam*+

sajaunga lut kar bhi tere badan ki daail ko lahoo jigar ka doonga teri badan hasein laboon ki lali ko
hai wafa kya is jahan ko ik din dikhla doonga mein deewana
nazar nahi churana sanam badal k meri tum zindgani kahin haim era dil behlana ...........


"save me from the nothing i hve become"
-- evanescence (bring me to life)