Today is Saturday, 25th November, 2006. Went to Delhi today and came back !!! without even going to home once. But one thing is there, all happiness and sadness in the world is relative. Maybe not, sadness and happiness generally have the same criteria, the same basic criteria but still there is something there that is there and that is luck maybe - yes kind of makes sense - I am thinking what I am thinking because of the position I am in - I feel sadness and happiness relative to that and someone else feels them according to the position they are in. It's just a reaction to a favourable situation according to your mentality which in turn is maintained by situations. So it doesn't matter - you don't have control over the situation you are in (maybe) and neither do you have control over whether the situation turns out in favour or not - so I am happy - kinda no more sadness in not being able to do something (if it's because of circumstances not of my laziness) and kinda feel good everything goes right but not wrong if it goes wrong because you can always take a turn in life - anyway the life is (supposedly) finite - even if it is not, does it matter - just do what you want to and fuck everything else - well your emotions won't let you do that - just being cheerful in life is not possible - even if it I am now not interested in that - obviously you should think about things (prefferably not worry maybe) but you won't be thinking about the things about which you are worried about now.
So go through the life after thinking what matters, and you will find something new, well maybe not - this is not a fairy tale - greater knowledge could bring greater grief (who am I lecture which I attended some time ago) - but anyway - it makes sense to acknowledge whose part has come itself to you and it makes sense to see through your life - what the heck is it and what's it made up of and what exactly matters - I think the last question is the most important question and should be answered - hey what's the meaning of should by the way - well anyway I (now) don't like this word so let's guss it and send a new one in stead - which one should I send - ummmm - should I send - SHOULD I ? Well this should can go the hell and I am not taking care of this word and replacing it with anything else.
So the jist - well actually have to analyze but maybe - you are going the wrong way in your life if you take a look at it - you just find that this is not the way you want to go - you want to go some other way - this may not be the best way, whatever best means - well limiting it to - this may not be the best happy/"feel good" way - and maybe you don't even want that one (and maybe that one's a contradiction) - but anyway you just feel you should - na - want to go some other way - and what does that path hold ?? - does it matter ?
La La La - another thing, time passes, thoughts pass, great men pass (whatever great means) and so will this thought ! A ripple in time wave - nothing else - of no importance (whatever importance means), a subprocess thinking too much of itself - pathetic, pathetic, pathetic !!!
Me : But does the above thing matter ? ?? : Pathetic !
Me : I am a sub-process so what is wrong if I am too proud -- the process cannot go on without a subprocess !
?? : Do you really think so ?
Me : Well no, but does that matter - if I am ok with being over-proud and die without any brunt of it ?
?? : Can't you think anything beyond "does that matter" ?
Me : Maybe but does that matter ?
?? : Think this way does it matter to think does it matter or not ? (Maybe this ?? was me only)
Me : For that I will have to think does it matter !!!
?? : Think beyond ??!!
Me : What's beyond ?
?? : Does it matter ?
Me : Well tell the meaning atleast !
?? : Does it matter ?
Me : Don't know, haven't thought and haven't realized !
?? : Can you think beyond your thinking ? Does there exist a beyond ? Is there a more meaningful question that "does it even matter?" ?
Me : Does it matter ?
?? :
Me : May be .. So just let it go, kind of ??!!!
?? : If you can find out whatever all think meant - congratulation to you and if not then keep yourself satisfied with an appropriate answer to does it even matter ? ?
Me : Ok, cya around, bye !
Disappearance is an art that can't be learnt by everyone - coz thoso who do disappear !
Non-existing is a supreme art that can't be learnt by anyone - coz if you do - who am I talking to !! have I gone nuts talking to myself !!
Time pass : go to hell, I am sleeping this definition I am not writing but one I shall - from my experience - kindof umm, maybe:
Laziness - the virtue by which a living being - of the same whatever level as a human being - does not (evev) do something which he/she/*e wants to do. [* is used here as a wild card and can be replaced by any number of characters except spaces]