ok it's 6 o'clock in the morning and cold night of 15Jan in Pilani. my 3rd year 2nd sem is going on (Started) and what I am going to write now is a reproducation of what I was thinking in my razai about fifteen to thirty minutes ago :
( Before that , I would like to say that a reproduction is not the original and hence is not "right" -- might miss something or might not say it the way it should -- not natural -- it's like i have prepared to write this blog :) )

Ok, I am now in a kashmkash about three things : gre, mba and naukri (and recently maybe added to the list is what to do this summer?) The question is which is the least miserable ? Well that depends upon luck -- though i think gre might turn out to be a disaster from the start, and job seems to already be a disaster from a start (unless I get in some good company like google and if it is really really good -- means not just monetarily and similar things - so basically nuakri seems to be a sure shot end of life) -- that's why mba crept in - management is something that I didn't wanna do at all but has come in my mind say about 6-9 monts ago--- and what more it has started taking a prominent position in my thinking process -- why -- simply becauseit might turn out to be something I want to do -- something exciting, creativee and routine work if you are not in the mood (brainy or adventerous) and make a lot of money --- but the problem is that i don't wanna leave the field i started with - id on't wanna take my life to a new "rich" direction of management (I am talking as if I have got available position in some reputed institute in the country -- well anyway that's how i think one should think what he/she wants to do in life.) Well anyway the downsides of cat -- 2 years sureshot(apparently) of sadness, pain and trauma :) and then some years of the routine and too boring job to make it to the top to start enjoying your life --- nah, doesn't seem right at all and that too when i have to sacrifice my line of interest (thought I doubt it exists - but I feel it's atleast a part-time one and i don't wanna leave it :) )

well then why don't I think what I wanna do (atleave what I am not going to (or don't wanna) leave).

Well then that's not going to be a part of the reproduction -- just remembered some part of the reproduction i had decided to do -- here's a quote fro m khalil gibran (as I remember it):
"If you don't like what you do, but hate it, then you better leave your work."

Well now some more quotes from him -- from a web page stored on my computer -- first the same one as the above and then some relevant ones that I seem to have forgotten (not that they weren't in my memory) over about the last 2-3 months (about-about coz i m not sure)

(Well just puttin 3-4 or 2 eps of "boy meet world" on download and something else maybe and then coming back :) )

"If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work."

"I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires."

(only one could be put on download :( )

one more i liked while trying to find the 3rd one :

"Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children."

i think this is the one i have been searching for -- ( well i was going to write "ok, at last" but it didn't feel like the 3rd one -- it's great though and had to look at it again and process it to realize that):

"We choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them."

(I had it as my gtalk status message once.)

well just while I am at it - let's look at the other quotes as well (just a quick look kinda thing) and write down some I like at the moment :

"Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair."

(ie for me (at the moment) don't get too invovled with things like the 3-trio thing i am worried about these days -- life's not for them ... )

( my own comment :) : "life's not for them" - great insight, huh! )

"The most pitiful among men is he who turns his dreams into silver and gold."

(If it means what I am understanding -- wow!! )

(mba ko maat dedi -- but mba didn't lose any points as it is against gre and naukri :) )

ok then these things are over and so is my reproduction of the thoughts -- so now something i have to think about now -- i was going to write it as continuaiion to this but then i thought why not a new post and now i thought i should give it atleast a day -- that is when i would be really thought about it -- not just churned the machinery of my brain to spill some words to form a post -- could be more than a day -- no deadlines -- no hurry

bye -- wow - i really talk to myself -- and i hope it
feels nice that way (well actually i don't hope that but kinda ...%@#%!#$#$!^& ... whatever feel it ...)